How to Get to Yes Without Giving In

A Prompt From "You Can Negotiate Anything" to Prepare Your Mindset Before It Matters Most

Welcome to Words Into Works. Each week, I share one article that helps you use AI to apply what you learn from nonfiction books. If you’ve ever finished a great book—and struggled to do something with it—this newsletter is for you. Paid subscribers gain full access to every prompt, walkthrough, and live example I’m creating to help turn ideas into action.

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TL;DR

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Most people prepare for negotiations by scripting what to say. But the real leverage comes from a mindset shift: caring, but not too much. In this issue, I unpack Herb Cohen’s most counterintuitive idea from You Can Negotiate Anything and share the exact prompt I use to detach from the outcome, reclaim my power, and walk into any negotiation with quiet confidence.

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You’re in a salary meeting. You’ve laid the groundwork. You’ve crunched the numbers. You’ve rehearsed the ask. This is a conversation you’ve anticipated.

But as the topic approaches, something shifts. You smile. Nod once. Pivot to next quarter. A voice in your head whispers: Now’s not the time.

And just like that, the moment’s gone.

It’s not that you didn’t know what you wanted. It’s that you needed the answer to be yes.

That’s the paradox of negotiation. The more we want something, the harder it is to ask for it clearly, especially when we don’t feel like we can walk away.

Yet, we negotiate more often than we think: at work, in relationships, even in casual everyday exchanges.

You're negotiating when you ask for help; when you set a boundary; when you let someone else speak first.

Every time there’s a gap between what you want and what someone else expects, you’re negotiating. In fact, most of the time, you don’t even realize it.

Today, I’ll share a mindset shift that changed how I prepare for any negotiation, plus a prompt I use to rehearse the moment before it matters most.

The More You Care, The Less Power You Have

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That’s the counterintuitive heart of Herb Cohen’s negotiation philosophy. Not caring isn’t the goal. But caring too much—about being liked, approved, or rewarded—can quietly erode your leverage.

When you’re overly attached to an outcome, you lose the ability to walk away. And once that happens, you give up the one thing that keeps you strong: the freedom to choose.

Cohen’s book, You Can Negotiate Anything, is built on three sources of power:

• Information. What do you know that they don’t?

• Time. Who can wait longer?

• Perception of power. Who seems more in control?

But all three rest on a foundation of emotional distance: the ability to care, pause, and walk away.

You still want the thing. You just don’t need it to validate you. And that space—that slight psychological detachment—is where power lives.

The Pause Before You Respond

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Most people prepare for negotiations by writing scripts, revising bullet points, and triple-checking numbers.

But rarely do they prepare for how they’ll feel—the flush in their chest, the second-guessing at the edge of their voice.

Why? Because mindset determines tone. And tone, more than tactics, shapes outcomes.

According to Cohen, the most critical shift isn’t something you say. Instead, it’s how you sit before the conversation even begins.

That’s the edge. And it’s exactly where this prompt does its quiet work, before the conversation begins, when your posture decides the outcome.

Rather than thinking of it as a checklist, consider it a pre-game stretch for your nervous system.

Across nine structured modules, you pressure-test your attachment, clarify what matters most, and rehearse with the same detachment you’ll need in the room.

Whether you're asking for a raise, renegotiating a contract, or buying a car, it’ll help you slow down, think clearly, and stay grounded in power.

Here’s the prompt: